The Smash Freshmen, Chapter Forty-Six

The Smash Freshmen

Chapter Forty-Six: Pocket Hydrants

    Pit and Pittoo descended through the air towards the strange maze-like structure under construction in the 3DS Grounds.

    “Man, that thing’s huge,” Pit said. “What on Earth are they building?”

    “Looks like a mini adventure mode or something,” Pittoo replied.

    “What do you think, Lady Palutena?” Pit said.

    I’m not sure, Pit, Palutena’s voice said in his mind, but whatever it is, be careful down there. We can’t be sure, but there’s a good chance that if one of you gets infected by the metal, you both could become their slaves.

    “Got it,” Pit said, “We’ll try to watch out for enemies. We’ll just swoop in, check the place out, maybe snag a sample of metal for Viridi to use to make her bomb, and be gone.”

    Here’s an idea, Pitty, Hades’ deep, arrogant voice resounded in their heads, why don’t you let yourself get infected? That way, we can just whisk you back here and Viridi can experiment on you instead.

    Hades, Palutena scolded, don’t even suggest something like that.

    Yeah, Viridi’s voice piped in, we’re trying to stem the spread of the metal. As annoying as Pit can be, we don’t want any—

    The three gods’ voices fell silent as Pit and Pittoo flew through an invisible energy barrier surrounding the strange maze.

    “Uh oh,” Pit said, “I can’t hear them anymore. Can you, Pittoo?”

    “No,” Pittoo said, “This can’t be a good sign.”

MetalFox and MetalDonkey Kong sat in a small control booth overlooking the construction of the maze. A small red alarm started to buzz. The video feed in front of them zeroed in on two airborne figures flying toward the stage.

    “It seems we have intruders,” Fox said.

    “What should we do about it?” Donkey Kong asked, the metal inside him forming his words in English.

    “Well,” Fox said, “Since the maze’s proprietor doesn’t want anyone on it until he is ready, I believe the proper course of action would be pest control.”

    Fox pressed a button on his dashboard. A small dark blue button marked with a skull.

Pit and Pittoo touched down on the soft grass covering the top left corner of the maze. A small grove of trees surrounding a pit sat directly behind them, with a number of floating platforms climbing high into the sky above that. Several meters in front of them there appeared to be some sort of rock formations or statues.

    “It’s really quiet,” Pittoo said.

    “Yeah,” Pit said, “And I still can’t hear Lady Palutena, Hades, or Viridi. Maybe we’d better go.”

    “Yeah, maybe.”

    The two angels turned to leave when alarms started to sound all around them.

    “Uh oh,” Pit said. The two angels started to run. They had only gone a couple of feet when a massive glowing green skull appeared out of thin air in front of them.

    “Orne!” Pittoo shouted, “Quick, the other way!”

    They turned around to see another one coming at them from the other direction. They attempted a vertical takeoff only to see two more coming from above.

    “Oh no,” Pit said, “I hate these things. One touch and we’re dead.”

    “Yeah, no kidding,” Pittoo replied as more appeared, completely surrounding them. “Not to mention a little hard to kill. Try to roll under them.”

    The two angels dived at the ground, rolling in opposite directions under the Ornes closest to them. They thought they were in the clear until more appeared directly behind the first group.

    “Lady Palutena!” Pit cried out desperately. “Help us!”

    The green skulls bore down on him. He heard a thump behind him as Pittoo’s dead body hit the ground. He tried to back away from the monsters, but there were only so many places he could go. And now that Pittoo was dead, Pit was starting to feel very weak.

Olimar stood in the middle of the Hyrule temple stage, dripping wet and holding a small, green dinosaur plushy. Greninja stood beside him, bowing to the other newcomers.

    Olimar turned to look at Greninja, spitting out a mouthful of water that settled around the bottom of his helmet. “A shuriken made out of water. Are you kidding me? Did you have to direct all of your attacks at me?”

    Greninja nodded and croaked laughingly. He and Rock high-fived.

    “And what the heck is this thing!” Olimar continued, shaking the plushy.

    Villager leaned over to Jazz. “How did they get water inside the helmet?”

    Olimar shot Villager a dirty look. “Alright, smart guy,” he said, “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

    Villager swallowed. “Okay,” he said. “For my neutral, I figured I could put things in my pocket.”

    “Pardon?” Olimar asked.

    “Just throw a projectile at me.”

    “Um, okay. Greninja, throw a projectile. I’m not being the target again.”

    Greninja nodded. He pressed his webbed hands together and formed another water shuriken. He threw it, and Villager caught it in his bare hands, quickly stuffing it into his pocket. Villager then reached back into his pocket and pulled the shuriken back out, throwing it at Olimar.

    “Seriously?” Olimar said, as the shuriken knocked him to the ground. He wiped his helmet clear and stood back up.

    “Okay,” he said, “You got tough hands and big pockets. What next?”

    “How about this!” Villager reached into his pocket and pulled out a small off-white cylindrical object with a wide, rounded top, two small arms, and a simple face.

    “Did you just pull a fire hydrant out of your pants?” Olimar said.

    “Fire hydrant?” Villager said. “This is a gyroid. His name is Lloid.”

    “Hello, everybody,” the object said, waving one of its arms. Everyone backed up slightly, looking from the gyroid to Villager’s pocket and back again.

    “Is anyone else suddenly very curious about the magical properties of Villager’s pants?” Jazz commented. The other newcomers looked at her for a second before backing away from her as well.

    “Looks like a fire hydrant to me,” Olimar said. “What exactly do you intend to do with it?”

    “I’m gonna ride him,” Villager said, laying the gyroid on its side and straddling it.

    “You realize you’re just making this worse, right?” Olimar said.

    Villager kicked at the gyroid’s sides and rockets flared up in the object’s bottom, thrusting him forward through the air several feet. Olimar sidestepped to let them pass by.

    “Okay,” Olimar said as Villager hopped off and stuffed the gyroid back in his pocket. “What about your up special? Still planning on the balloon hat?”

    “Yep,” Villager said, pulling the hat out of his pocket and placing it on his head. As usual, the balloons inflated immediately and lifted Villager high into the air. After a few seconds, he came back down.

    “And now, your down special?”

    Villager reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny seed. “I was thinking my tree move,” he said.

    “The one you used on Mac the other day?”

    “Uh-huh,” Villager said. He crouched down and pushed the seed into the ground. “I was thinking it could be a three-parter. I’d plant the seed first.”

    He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small watering can. “Then I’d water the seed and make it grow.”

    After a brief sprinkling of water, the tiny seed burst out of the ground as a fully formed tree.

    “You had a full watering can in there, too?” Olimar asked.

    “Yeah,” Villager said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out an axe.

    “Great, he’s even got an axe,” Olimar muttered.

    Villager smashed the axe head into the trunk of the tree, cleaving it in two and toppling it to the ground.

    “And that’s the last part,” Villager said. “Anyone standing under the tree will be crushed.”

    Olimar looked between Villager and the tree for a minute as if trying to figure something out.

    “Why the tree?” he asked.

    “What do you mean?”

    “Why go to all that trouble? Why not just use the axe itself?”

    Villager looked down at the axe in his hands, then back up at Olimar innocently. “This is a kids’ game.”

    “Right,” Olimar said slowly. “Okay, um, Wii Fit Trainer, you next.”

    Jazz bit her lip.

    “I haven’t entirely decided on all my moves yet,” she said. “I’m definitely going to use my hula hoops for my up special. I was thinking maybe my deep breathing exercise could be my down special.”

    Jazz put her hands together and breathed in deeply. A small pink circle appeared around her torso with a white outline further out. The circle and the outline slowly came together as she breathed.

    “That will give me a temporary energy boost,” she said after she had finished.

    “Hmm,” Olimar said, “A revitalizing move. Sounds good. Any ideas on your other moves?”

    “Maybe, you should do a sun salutation, babe,” a cocky male voice said. The group turned to see Jazz’s old training partner, Garrett, leaning against a pillar nearby. He had a black eye and his pale skin wore a couple of bruises. His curly gray hair was a mess and the ends of his gym clothes were frayed a little.

    “Garrett?” Jazz said in surprise.

    “What’s the matter, Jazzy?” he said with a nasty grin, “Did someone forget about me?”